Repeat with me for the last time: It’s Friday again!
That’s right, people. After several years, many months, many columns and a shitload of bullet points, the Weekly News Roundup has come to an end.
I’m gonna give you a few seconds for that to sink in.
Really? I thought you’d be more distraught. Anyway, this is it.
And no, I haven’t been threatened with deportation by the Government. No, I haven’t been fired from the Independent. Sometimes, however, you just feel that it’s time to move on to other things and I must admit that for me the time has come.
Now, I don’t want you to think I’m going away. Because I’m not. So to all the haters out there heaving a sigh of relief, thanking the Argentine gods that I wasn’t going to be around anymore to challenge their ill-acquired truths safely stored inside an impermeable bubble, I’m sorry to say that you’re not getting rid of me. On the contrary, my next task is to directly attack that bubble. But that’s another story and you will soon understand what I mean.
Back in 2010 I began writing this column after some guy I met in a bar told me he had been living in Argentina for two years and “he didn’t know or care to know who the president was”. Things got even worse when I mentioned Cristina and he replied: “Dude! The president has a girl’s name?!”
OK, so he wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. But he still got me to think that many expats living in this country (not all of them, obviously), be it due to the language barrier or just the fact that they didn’t give a shit, were experiencing Argentine reality from behind a Plexiglass. They could see everything that was happening around them, but they were not able to join it.
So on a rainy Friday, more specifically on August 20th, 2010, I wrote this piece of crap.
Thirty months later, this column has become a primordial aspect of my life. It has become my signature, my voice, my shrink. But above all, it has allowed me to connect with all of you who looked for a place to engage in collective catharsis and blow off some steam. And I’m immensely thankful for your buena onda.
Yes, even you haters. Your regular hate mail has managed to make my days brighter many times, so come here you rascals and give me a hug.
And like I said before, this isn’t goodbye. This is just an “I’ll be back in a few weeks in a different way“. Until then, you’re on your own.
Scary, isn’t it?
This is what you need to know:
Particularly tabloid and yellow press kings Jorge Rial and Luis Ventura, who replied one day later by detonating two nuclear bombs in the hearts of those who worship Maradona as the God of all things football. Ventura, clearly hurt, revealed “some information that he had allegedly kept secret until now”: A) During that infamous drug bust in which he was arrested, Maradona was caught in bed with another dude. B) He likes boys who dress like girls (transvestites). C) He’s a pedophile.
I love you, kids.
Have a great life, everyone!
Send Adrian your comments at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter at @AdrianBono