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Oh, I see. You’re upset because this wasn’t uploaded yesterday? Get off my back! Have you got any idea of how much work goes into this column? I’ve got people in South Korea working 24/7 trying to look for the right You Tube video/ Wikipedia link so you can go “Oh!” every time I talk about someone you don’t know and are too lazy to look for yourself. You think that’s cheap? Maybe you can try coming up with new tongue-in-cheek remarks every Friday afternoon while I chug on a pitcher of beer in some dark San Telmo bar at 5 pm.
So put up or shut up.
Oh yeah, and this is what you need to know.
Finally! After two and a half months of political inaction, lawmakers are back in Congress, ready to screw up our lives in many unexpected ways. President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner inaugurated the congressional year with a 90-minute long speech that focused mostly on her administration’s achievements instead of her plans for legislation. And despite several important announcements, what everyone cared about was seeing how she would behave once she sat next to her nemesis, her Lex Luthor, her Darth Vader, her Giant Chicken (what, you never watched Peter Griffin fight the Giant Chicken?): Vice-President Julio Cobos himself. In case you didn’t know, in this country the President and the Vice-President hate each other, and if you care to know why, I’ll explain it to you on the next item. But going back to this week, things got kind of tense when the President, tired of being interrupted by a small crowd who wouldn’t stop chanting “Cobos for president,” tapped Mr. Cobos on the hand and told him, with a sarcastic smile: “try getting some education for your little crowd over there.” Many applauded, others booed, I rejoiced.
Department of State came out this week, calling Argentina “the second largest cocaine market in South America” after Brazil, which prompted Chief of Staff Anibal Fernandez (who else?) to respond. “They are trying to make us look like the black sheep. We’re just getting a small part in the cocaine market because mainly they (the US) are the ones buying most of it.” And yeah, he is kind of right (have you read this?), but still, are you people ever gonna get over the fact that Obama is not visiting? Please, I need some new material and this is getting old. Either set off a nuclear weapon or shut up.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Send Adrian your comments, thoughts or tips at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow him on Twitter at @AdrianBono